"Taylor, no, no, no, no, and every day from now on 'til the end of my life, I am gonna come in here and say, 'Taylor, no.' And when I die, I'm gonna have them freeze me next to Ted Williams, and when they find the cure to what I died of and they unfreeze me, my first words are gonna be, 'How's Ted?' followed closely by, 'Taylor, no.'"
-Luke in Application Anxiety

Kirk: Hey Luke, does your husband play softball too?
(Kirk running away right after makes it even funnier)

TJ (to Luke): Hey, still dry. Thanks, buddy.
Lorelai: You dried his armpits?
Luke: I don't want to talk about it.

LUKE: You talked to Liz?
LORELAI: I thought she was you.
LUKE: I'm a man.
LORELAI: Well, she was in your truck.
LUKE: When I'm in my truck, I'm still a man.

ANDREW: Will you just let me scan the book?
LUKE: When you scan the book, do you see the title?
ANDREW: Yes.
LUKE: Then no.
ANDREW: Luke, come on. What do you got there, porn?
LUKE: You sell porn?
ANDREW: No!
LUKE: You think I brought my own porn in here to buy?

LUKE: I had this friend -- let's call him Phillip -- who thought expressing intimacy was a favor to his partner, but expressions of intimacy should be given freely and frequently. He loved Judy, but he used his love as a bargaining tool.
JESS: Who the hell is Judy?
LUKE: Phillip's wife. We call her Judy.
JESS: I wasn't bargaining.
LUKE: You were bargaining. You had expectations out of line with what you deserved. You don't nurture.

Luke: "Neither of us has kids. Well, she does, but it's big and ... and ... and can look at her own butt."

hnk lyl
nicole